Growing up is fun !

Combine harvesters and experimental rocketry.

Being unpopular with parents as a kid always baffled me, whom ever my mate at the time was, their parents seemed to think of me as a bad influence, right from the start.

When I as about 10 yrs old I couldn’t wait to get out on my bike be it my Roadmaster 3 speed dragster or the B.M.X that I bought of a friend for $20, that was stolen, both the money and the bike. I saw no problem about turning up to Simon’s place at 6:30am on a Sunday to start our day but it peeved his parents of no end.

The imaginative ways Derek and I made money also irked both his and my parents, putting on our scout uniforms and pretending to collect bottles for them and cashing them in ourselves was a favorite. Industrious thinking I thought. Selling fags to the other kids, which we stole of Clyde’s parents whom just got back from England, selling the wagon wheels that Bradley and I stole from the pony club and many various other ways I wish not to mention in writing. And although I got Scott into a lot of trouble at school by doing things like, filling the fish tank with jelly crystals to see if they could still swim - I call this, ‘Great moments in science’, or having flame sword fights with the hoses of Bunsen burners - once again, science, another favorite that always bought howls of laughter was cutting the bottom out of other kids school bags and watching them pick it up, hilarious, and so much more fun games and camaraderie. His mum she just constantly seemed peeved that I was there before he done his chores. Which bemused me, as I was willing to help him along his merry way.

When we had to clean his fathers shed, we found some unused 12 gauge shotgun cartridges, with the help of a vice and a 4” nail, we increased the light and ventilation in the shed considerably, although it must be said, the neighbors looked a bit shocked as they peered over the fence. Oh and then she was appalled to catch us seeing if a lizard could outrun a lawnmower.
Sadly my friendship with Scott had to end, not as a result of his parents keeping him away from me, but rather my parents keeping me away from him. We moved to Anakie.

Again the long exciting road of unpopularity with parents continued unabated. Ok yes it was my idea to un-chock the old combine harvester on the hill, and watch it roll into the dam while Julian was paddling around in a foam fruit box. We were laughing like Hyenas for weeks! I still get a tear in my eye now. Yes it was my idea to tell the weird kid on O’Neil’s lane that to impress Mr Clipperton. ‘You have to show him some initiative, just jump in his truck and start it, he will be most impressed with your enthusiasm.’ Suprisingly, He wasn’t. Yes it was my idea that Lee could out run the cops on his XT 250 with me on the back. He couldn’t. Yes it was my idea to see if the asbestos porta cabin could burn. To my utter astonishment it could, quite well in fact! Yes it was my idea for Linden to piss on the electric fence. I couldn’t believe he actually did it! I told him his shoes would stop him earthing. That was so funny! The look on his face and the noise he made, Oooooom. I still get a chuckle from that one! Yes it was my idea to solder the safety valve shut on Moggies steam engine to make it go faster. It really did, for a while anyways. And yes I crashed his mum’s car and straight after she got it fixed, he thought he’d have a go, and tried rather persistantly to drive it through some trees. Yes it was me who discovered how to make chlorine bombs. So, yes there is a long list and an even longer list to go but I don’t want to incriminate myself any further and my ribs ache too much.

I see all this as the beginnings of a long and prosperous career in leadership, poor leadership maybe, but leadership none the less. I couldn’t possibly be any worse than the ones we have today! And it was so much fun to boot. Which is what these parents just don’t understand. I shall explain further.

You see, it’s kids like me, little horrors that we are, that make childhood fun, we get their kids away from in front of the Atari and start doing constructive, or I’ll admit, destructive pursuits. Because it was also me that started to construct things like the impossibly high tree house, dam the creek at Rowds or getting old machinery started and various other educational life skills that might inspire them to do something better than be a salesman in Dick Smiths.

So can you see it now? If your kids are hanging around a part time arsonist, front wheel nut loosening type of guy whom enjoys fixing fireworks to airfix models and scaring cats, don’t despair. He might end up an astronaught, an engineer, or in jail.

Life is a gamble hey.